Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Deep breath. And a sigh of relief.

   Brandon got the job today. His schedule sucks, but it'a a job that pays decently and is guaranteed forty hours a week. He's not really thrilled about the job itself, but having a job is a huge relief for all of us. I'm glad he was able to find something. He's also thinking about going to school this fall. I'm kind of frustrated because he knows what his dream career would be, but he doesn't think he can do it, so he's not going to major in anything he is really passionate about, which to me seems like a huge waste. He's going to spend the money on an education, but not be doing what he really wants to do. On the plus side, his tentative thoughts on going to school is big progress. Hopefully I can convince him to do something he'll actually enjoy.
   Poa has definitely dropped. It's pretty uncomfortable. My hips and lower back ache. My grandmother also mentioned the drop today. Apparently it's pretty noticeable because I was carrying so high, all up in my ribs. I'm not carrying high like that anymore. It's easier to breathe, which is awesome. Hopefully the drop doesn't mean Poa is coming soon. I need to keep that baby in until the 22nd to have the birth at the birth center, and I want the baby to cook as long as possible and be really ready to come out healthy and strong. As uncomfortable as I am, I'd be so much more miserable if my sweet baby came early and had to spend time in the hospital.
   Speaking of sweet babies, my Cooper got to ride all sorts of fun rides at the Cherry Fest tonight. He had a blast. Last summer he was too small to ride anything but the carousel and the baby roller coaster shaped like a caterpillar. This year he got to go on a couple of the big rides with his daddy, and was big enough to ride all the toddler rides by himself. He had a complete blast. He rode everything he could at least 3 times. His favorite thing was the giant slide that he went down on the big itchy blankets. He loved that so much. He played a couple games, too, and won a stuffed pink, sparkly dolphin, and a little blue shark. He had carnie food and we got another photo button of the three of us. Brandon and I have one of the two of us from the year before I got pregnant with Cooper, and now we have one as a family of three. Next year we'll have to go get one as a family of four.
   I'm glad we got to do this with Cooper before the new baby came. It was like a mini-vacation for an evening, and we were focused just on our little boy before everything changes. Inez and Charlie took us and were extremely generous with their time, and bought him food and a wrist band for the rides. We are extremely lucky to have them in our lives. As soon as we have a little extra money I would like to go do something for them, maybe take them to a movie or dinner.
   Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to miss being a family of three. We've hit this awesome routine, and Cooper is old enough now that he's more independent. Life is pretty great with the three of us. I worry that Cooper is lonely though. Still, I'm a little bit afraid of having a new baby and starting over trying to learn how to function as a family. I hope we can make it work. I'm really nervous about it.
   I've got the list made of things we need to pack in the baby bag, and started packing. I'll have everything either in the bag or ready to go in by the end of the week. Obviously the laptop and camera are going to have to wait until the last minute because we use them daily, and I need to go pick up some newborn diapers and the oatmeal raisin cookies I want for my snack, and the popsicles won't go in until the last minute so they won't melt before we get there, but I've got the bottled water, Gatorade, Tylenol, outfit to go home in for myself and baby, 2 baby blankets, hair ties... basically the rest of the bag packed and set aside. We don't need a ton of stuff since we're not staying at the birth center over night. We'll be going home between 4 and 6 hours after the birth, which I LOVE. I'm still kind of torn about whether I want Cooper to come home with us, or spend a couple days being spoiled by one of his grandparents before coming home to a whole new world.
   Part of me thinks I want my little boy home, because I love him and I always want him home. I want to be surrounded by my little family and all get to know the new baby together. On the other hand, I remember how exhausted I was the first couple nights home with Cooper, and I'm afraid I might be impatient or unable to meet all of his needs, and that it will be harder to adjust with all the stress. I'm a little concerned that he will have a much harder time getting used to things in the chaos of the first few days. Brandon and I are talking about it off and on and I just can't seem to make up my mind. I think I'm going to ask for some advice from a few of the moms in my life and see what they think. Normally I'm pretty decisive, but this is all new to me. I want it to be as easy as possible for Cooper, who, by the way, has already decided that this is HIS baby. He's such a funny little thing.
   IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII need to pee again. I think that's it for the night. Goodnight internet.

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