Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I am so worried.

   Our little dog, Raymond, likes to wander. And when people come over that fail to shut the door behind him when they go out to smoke, he tends to escape the second he feels we're not paying enough attention. Usually we catch him sneaking out the door, and occasionally we have to make a trek to the park a couple blocks down to collect him. Yesterday afternoon he escaped, and we couldn't find him. He's still not home. I am FREAKING OUT. He's been in our family for four years now. Our son adores him, sleeps with him at night, feeds him in the morning, plays with him during the day, and walks him when we go on our outings. Needless to say, Cooper's been a mess since Ray took off. He looks for him constantly, and won't leave my side or let me put him down most of the time.

   I'm so worried about my little dog. He's such a friendly little thing, very trusting, and I am scared he's going to be picked up by some other family that will take him home and we'll never see him again. I've put ads on Craigslist and called animal control, all the local shelters, and every found ad I come across describing a black dog, and still have no leads. A couple times I thought I was close, and being the emotional, hormonal wreck that I am, I found myself crying just for a moment every time I hung up the phone to a dead end. The Canyon County animal shelter has the most ridiculous policy that they won't take or give descriptions over the phone of dogs that arrive at the shelter, and I have no way of getting there, so I'm hoping a friend of mine can take me or go see if our puppers is there. We're all missing him pretty badly, and it's awful cold outside for such a spoiled little dog. He sleeps on the bed and gets scraps off of our plates between his dog food. It's hard to imagine him out there in the cold sleeping under a dumpster or something, with no food. It worries me a lot.

   Brandon keeps assuring me we'll find him, but I know he's worried too. He loves Ray, even though he's not overtly affectionate like Cooper and I are. Raymond slept at his feet or next to him on the couch all the time. Brandon bathed him and gave him scraps as he cooked when he thought I wasn't looking. I miss my dog. We all do. I so hope we get him back as soon as possible. I know that for some people, it's "just a dog" and all that, but he's part of our little family. An important part. We love him very much. Positive thoughts, people. Positive thoughts.

   We made it through Wednesday, and the weekend will be here sooner than later. That's good. I'm getting so wound up lately, it will be nice to have Brandon home for a couple days to help me refocus and get centered. He's making doughnut holes right this second for his potluck tomorrow. I'm also going to try to bake some stuff and get it out there to him, but in case I can't, I'll be taking his class tasty baked goods on Monday after my appointment. My mom is taking me, and we're getting Morgan and Allison and going to lunch. It feels good to have a positive relationship with my mom. I love her with all my heart, and we're figuring stuff out. I'm trying to include her in all the stuff she wasn't involved in last time, even though we're keeping it all pretty quiet this time until mid-January when the big risk passes and I feel a little safer. I tend to keep things to myself anyway, most of the time, since I've found that including people in what I think and feel tends to bother them or make them wary of me. I'm kind of a weirdy. Everything I do I do with a certain level of reactive intensity. When I'm sad, I'm heartbroken, even if it's just for a second. When I'm happy, I'm ecstatic, even over something tiny. I've found that people either love that quality, or push it away. Sad but true reality. I'm sure I'm not any better, so it is what it is and I'm ok with it at this point. I'm in a good place in my life and with myself. :)

   Brandon should never be in charge of baking or making sweets. He came out of the kitchen giggling, hands covered in dough, talking about how stupid he was. Next he brought me a doughnut hole to try out, and it was raw on the inside, at which point I told him his oil was too hot. Not so yummy, just sayin'. Then he brought in what looked like a long poop. It was very dark. Turns out he tried to pipe the dough like a funnel cake, but having not taken my advice to turn the oil heat down, the outside burned almost instantly, with the inside oozing out of tiny steam-created holes. My house smells like burned things. I need my inhaler for all the smoke. This is why I do the desserts here. Brandon is a great cook, but a terrible baker. He doesn't understand sweet things or how finicky desserts can be. I knew this was going to be an "adventure" when he said he was replacing 3/8 cups of milk in the recipe with 1/3 and called it close enough. In some things that works. Not in these. Silly man. I'm proud of him for trying though. And I did get 2 good ones out of the whole batch of dough. lol.

   I decorated the tree today. It looks alright. I can't wait to start adding family ornaments on. That's going to make it look better and better every year.

   Tomorrow we should have our phone turned on. It was supposed to be on yesterday, but that didn't happen. Joy. The tech guy never showed up today, so that sucked, but tomorrow I have hope. Tomorrow I'm also hoping we get our fuzzy little dog back, and I can go grocery shopping so I can get some quality baking time in. I get a little restless when I can't flex my baking muscles.

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