Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Body... Beautiful? Bloated? BIG?

   I'm feeling pretty body conscious today. I am getting round a LOT faster than I did with Cooper, and it's both physically uncomfortable and emotionally a little overwhelming. I'm very petite. I eat all the time, and have a great metabolism, so I don't really gain weight. When I do, I get bigger in my breasts and butt. I LOVE my body. It's been a shock and an adjustment to see it get big so fast. I mean, I know I don't look fat. It's very clearly a pregnant belly. It's ROUND and pokes out like a ball under my shirt, and with Cooper I felt a little body conscious, but I also felt cute and feminine. Now I just feel like a whale. None of my pants fit, my shirts all fit funny, I'm stuck wearing leggings EVERY DAY until I can afford some maternity clothes. I went from being a lovely size 4 to being a size sphere. I guess I need to buck up though. It means I'm healthy and baby is growing, and that really is beautiful.
   According to my midwives, my growth is on track. With Cooper I was always behind until the very end, and that's part of why he was breaking my insides, I think. He was cramped and just needed to stretch out, but had nowhere to go. This baby has plenty of room and doesn't kick nearly as much. I feel movement once or twice a day for short periods and that's it. I know from my last appointment that I'm healthier now than I was with Cooper. No iron level concerns, great growth, and now that I'm not puking all the time I'm hydrated and gaining weight on track. I'm eating right and doing stretches and exercises to prepare for birth every day. It's still bugging me to have a tummy today. I wish Brandon was home to kiss my forehead and tell me I've never been prettier. He's awful good at getting me to feel good about myself. :)
   I went to the eye doctor today, and got a prescription for my glasses. They'll be here by next week. I'm hoping to get them sooner so I can go get my license and Brandon can come home. Cooper's been sick and we both miss him so much and need him home. Soon.
   I'm pretty stoked to finally have glasses again. It's going to help with my headaches so much. Something about being able to see makes life a little easier. I've been functioning without them for over 2 years now and it's been tough, so getting them is going to be awesome. The eye doctor was really nice, too. I got super cute frames and the insurance covered most of it, and the total cost of the frames. I only liked two pairs of frames, and they were both super cheap, so that helped. The ones I got are simple black thick plastic frames that slightly sweep up at the outer corner, somewhat like really subtle cat-eye frames, but square. I LOVE them. I usually get colored frames, but none of them were cute. The other pair I liked were rainbow, and were SUPER bright, but when I tried them on they made my head hurt because the colors distorted my peripheral vision and I saw the colors reflected on stuff, so I got the other ones. Go figure my second choice would be really bright. Ha.
   Cooper had fun in the vision center. He tried on sunglasses and opened all the little eyeglass cases on the shelves and sniffed inside them, and then made me smell. It was pretty funny. When I get my glasses I want to get a pink case for them so that when I take them off they will be safe and not get broken like my last pair. That would suck.
   I'm hungry. Snack time. I'm thinking a mango and some blueberries, since I've already eaten 5 oranges today. I have been going through a 4 pound bag every 2 days or so. I crave them constantly. It's going to suck when they aren't in season anymore. Vitamin C helps the body absorb iron, so I'm using that as my excuse to replace every other snack with a couple of oranges. Cooper and I will sit on the couch and peel them together and watch cartoons at night so I can eat them all night long. I don't think any soap will get rid of the smell the peel leaves on my hands at this point, and I don't want it to. They are all I want to eat. All the time. All. The. Time. I have to remind myself to eat enough carbs and proteins and veggies during the day. It's gotten so bad that before I peel one I have to think, "Ok, wait. How many have you eaten in the last 2 hours? More than 3, have a different snack. How much protein have you ingested? Never enough to match the little chart? Go scramble an egg with some ham, stat! Put that shiz on toast woman! The baby needs more than oranges!" It's that bad. I guess replacing them with more fruit probably isn't wise, but I'm craving sweets and fruit will curb that craving without me pigging out on cupcakes or candy, so I'm going for it. I'm having chicken in dinner tonight and ate eggs for breakfast. It's enough. Right? Say yes. Good.
   I've been trying to convince myself that eating Nutella on everything, including my oranges, counts as protein. I mean, it IS 1 gram per tablespoon. And it's chocolate. Freaking Nutella has become my new crack. I don't get to have a lot of breakfast foods because I have to skip the dairy, and almond milk doesn't taste right anymore, in fact, almonds taste like poop lately. Very bitter. Then in comes Nutella to save the day with it's vague promise of being quasi-healthy to ingest regularly... you bet I'm all over that nonsense. I might invest in the company! Can't make cream of wheat with milk? Make it with water, mix in some Nutella, it's suddenly rich and creamy and nutty and chocolaty and perfect! I don't even add sugar. Just a handful of berries and I'm good to go. Can't have a PBJ because peanut butter makes you vomit? Try a sandwich with Nutella and any jam or preserves your heart desires! Oh man! No ice cream? Throw Nutella and a banana in the food processor until it's smooth, then freeze it. Seriously. Food of the gods.
   I just went on a tirade about Nutella. I think I need a life. Ha. Or a nap...

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